From Scratch

I am making pretzels and some pepperoni pizza rolls today.  The apartment is kinda' messy and I have a bunch of stuff left to do on my to-do list, but I figured I can do all of that tomorrow.  Today, I want to cook.  I did school stuff, so I am not being completely irresponsible and technically the stuff that I am cooking is working towards my goal of cutting out convenience foods from our diets. Rationalization is amazing.  ;)

 

But I digress...

So, the pretzel dough is rising for the first time right now.  It is completely from scratch.  I hardly ever have time or the concentration to make anything from complete scratch.  Usually, there is canned something or the dough came from Pillsbury.  With Whimzy running around, I just do not have the focus to be able to really work dough or stew my own tomatoes.  It is a long, long-term goal to be able to can my own veggies and fruits, but that is not happening right now so I rely on store bought canned goods.

I do not think that I have really worked with real, homemade dough since I was really young and helping Nana with Easter bread.  That was giant plastic totes full of dough and at least 50 loaves that I was responsible for carrying back and forth to the "rising room", which was really just Papa's bedroom that he was shoved out of for a few days while we made the bread.  I remember helping put it into the loaf pans, helping pour the nuts into it, and how amazing the house smelled.  It was my favorite part of Easter while we were still doing it. 

Today, it felt amazing, my hands all full of flour, smelling the yeast, and hoping that I did not screw it up.  I am still waiting for it to rise, and I am really hoping it does.  Even if I fail on this, the tactical pleasure and the memories that it brought back were worth the try, and I would definitely give it another try next weekend. 

It would seriously be awesome if I can pull this off, though.  And Ty is loving the smell of the dough that is wafting through the apartment. 

 

I look at my artistic friends, and how they express themselves through art and how art is an outlet for them.  I don't think I will ever be capable of drawing more than a stick figure and I will probably never be "crafty", but I have come to realize in these last few months that I have cooking.  It helps me relax, makes me feel accomplished, can help raise my self-esteem, and helps me work through some of my emotions and realize goals. 

Plus, I love the look on Ty's face when I make something amazing :)

 

I am going to have to work the passion that I feel for cooking and food into a more healthy perspective on food and try to keep it all in balance, but I know I can do it, and I am proud of myself for finding something that I love to do and that I can do.