5 Days

5 days until the wedding.

7 days until I am on a massage table in my suite for the honeymoon.

Some random thoughts going through my head:

My bedroom looks like a party store gone wrong.

My living room is crowded with a giant cooler (left over from Ty's bachelor party) and a big cardboard box filled with shot glasses.

I look like a zombie because I can't sleep and then once I do fall asleep I have nightmares about the stupidest things.

I realized this morning that I could completely refurnish my entire apartment with what we are paying for people to eat and drink.

Ty is getting crabby and stressed.

I am getting anxious and giddy all at the same time.  It is very confusing.

I am not sure if we have luggage...

While packing this Friday, I will also be having Whimzy's teachers come over for her parent-teacher home conference.  Should be interesting.

I am seriously nervous about having all of this attention focused on me.

Whimzy has been wonderful the last few days and seems to know that I need cuddles. 

I get to do this crazy, stressful, expensive thing surrounded by the most amazing people to ever exist.

I really am marrying him.  Finally.

I have a crazy headache.

I still have to write the unity ceremony.

 

 

Ugh. 

I am excited.  Don't get me wrong.

I am just overwhelmed and nervous.

Not nervous about marrying Ty, but about the actual event.

Murphy's Law!



20 Days

20 days until the wedding.

Less than 3 weeks.

Just saying....

 

Well, I made a huge purchase towards the wedding Friday night.  About $600 worth of random wedding odds and ends. 

Super excited to have them all delivered in the next two weeks!

 

I have a list of random thoughts that have occurred to me in the last couple of week:

*The things that I have to tell Whimzy are ridiculous.  For example: "Put your shirt down", "No, you cannot play with the potato until you put the ponies away".

*Less than 10% of what we are spending for the wedding will be of any use in 4 weeks.

*At this point, I am completely sympathetic to those people who decide to elope.  Skip all of the stress and go straight to the honeymoon?  That sounds almost perfect.

*We pierced Whimzy's ears this past weekend.  I thought she would be alot happier about it.  She seems like she couldn't care less.

*We watched a few hours of Star Trek: The Next Generation over the weekend.  It reminds me of my uncle and Jagee.  I used to sneak down to the basement and watch it with them when I was little.  It is just as amazing as I remember it.

*After a couple of drinks, I go all Ernest Hemmingway and think I can write, you should all be thanking me for my self-control on not writing a blog while intoxicated.  I totally understand why so many great writers were alcoholics, though.

*I have the worst craving for buttered white rice and Pizza Hut.  Not together, separate.  And no, I am not pregnant.

*I am nervous about the wedding.  Not nervous to marry Ty, but nervous about the actual event.  That will be alot of attention on a sober, anxiety-ridden me.  I see bad things happening.

*When did kids' movies go from just over an hour to 2 hours? 

*"Cricket-bugs don't wear shoes!"

*Ty and I are getting old.  During an "alone" dinner that we made after Whimzy went to bed, we discussed vacuum cleaners. 

*Did you know that a vacuum salesman is still a thing?  It is!

*My reading has taken a backseat to wedding, school, and sleeping. Oops.  I guess I will catch up later.

 

 

So, tomorrow is my birthday! 

26 is hitting me harder than 25...weird.

I plan on posting a thoughtful blog about the past year and how my life has changed and how I've grown.

 

<3



Bridal Shower and Lingerie!

This past Sunday was my Bridal shower, thrown by my wonderful "Mom", Maid of Honor, and my bridesmaids.

It was perfect. 

The food was amazing, the decor was perfect, there was a good mix of family (from both sides) and friends. 

Ty was wonderful, he wore his "Yes, Dear" shirt, helped keep tabs on Whimzy and helped with games.

I got some wonderful presents (Thank You notes are going out by Monday!), and got to spend some time with people I do not normally see as well as spend some time with my close friends.

It was perfect.

Thank you so much to the ladies who set this up for me <3

 

Also, tonight, I am going lingerie shopping with "Mom" and Angie.

I am so excited.  I love buying new bras!

Plus, possibly a corset-type thing.  I am not sure if I want to buy one for the honeymoon.  They are a pain to get on without help, and that would ruin the whole idea.

 

Eh, we shall see.

 

 

 

Well, I have enough to do to keep me busy for the next 3 months, so I will try to keep everybody updated!

So far we have about 55 people who have RSVP'd.

 

Please send yours in ASAP if you haven't already!

A First

After a rough couple of very overwhelming days and anxious nights, I am feeling perky again today.

You know why?

I laid in bed last night, thinking.

And I fgured something out.

This is the first time in my entire life that there has not been any family conflict in my life. 

Seriously.

We are on good terms with everybody!

It is awesome. 

No worrying about what might happen at the wedding, or

having to stress out about people playing nice.

It just blows me away that my life has taken such a dramatic turn around in the last few years.

I am so happy that I am getting closer to my family, including my Dad.

I am so happy that I get to build a relationship with my in-laws and that I am entering such a huge family.

I am lucky to have such an amazing set of psuedo parents that are helping me with the wedding, Whimzy, and life in general. 

I am even going to be re-meeting my step-family in the next month or so.

A few years ago I would have never been able to guess that I would be so surrounded with family that I enjoy being around.

I am so glad that I was wrong.

 

And on an unrelated note, Ty just stabbed a My Little Pony balloon to death.

It was terrifying.

;)

I Hate Sundays

I hate Sundays.

After a whole weekend of being able to snuggle up to Ty, pass some Whimzy duties off to him, tell him stupid jokes, kiss him whenever I want, and make him find things for me,

he has to return to work on Sundays.

We spent most of this past weekend in our pj's, on the couch, all cuddled up and playing with Whimzy.  When we did have to put real clothes on, it was to grocery shop or spend a couple hours out to eat with good friends and family.

It was, essentially, a perfect weekend.  I would have not changed a single thing.

Then, this morning we cleaned and really made up for the fact that we really did not do anything productive all weekend.

Then, he had to leave.

And that ^ is the face and reaction that Whimzy has every, single time Ty gets ready to go to work.

I feel the same way, but I have to be all grown-up and kiss him good-bye and then wish him a good night at work.

 

So, yeah, I hate Sundays. 

I hate the drop back into reality, and I hate missing Ty.

 

 

</3



54 Days

As my wonderful Aunt pointed out to me today,

I have 54 days until my wedding.

54 days.

54 days until I become Mrs. Ty Christensen.

Exciting...

But also extrememly overwhelming.

I feel like there is still so much to do,

so much to think about,
so much to finish.

 

In 55 days, over a year of planning will be done.

I will have time to relax and I will be getting a 90-minute massage in front of a fireplace.

 

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is completely worth it.

This is my wedding. 

It symbolizes the relationship between Ty and I.

It symbolizes our love, and our lives together.

It is going to be perfect.

 

 

Deep breaths.

Take a step back.

Put things in perspective.

<3

*happy dance*

This post is actually all about wedding stuff!  Woo-hoo!

 

First of all: I went in and got my dress fitted today for final alterations. I am not allowed to lose any more weight because otherwise the dress won't fit me!  Oh, and the cute little skirt that goes with the dress that I can change into that didn't fit me before?  It fits me now! 

 

 The Bridal Shower invites are out and let me tell you, they are adorable!  I have such amazing bridesmaids and almost-mom!

 

I have a ton of information being posted for everybody involved in the wedding! I mean, like we need to get these details nailed down ASAP!

It is less than 2 months away *deep breath*

Only 8 weekends until I say "I do.."

*deep breath*

No, not cold feet, just excitement and a bit overwhelmed.

 

Just so everybody remembers, the hotel discounts for the wedding end on April 26th. 

 

Wedding invites are going out this next Monday! 

 

Song lists are mostly picked.  Still have to spend some time on them with Ty and finalize a few things, but yeah...

 

Omg.  So much adreneline is going through me right now!

Not to mention that I am seriously floating on Cloud 9.

I need to come back down to earth and spend some time on regular life things...lol.

 

 

Okay, that is enough for now!  I need to calm down and return to real life...

 

Doctor Who, Socks, Shoes, and Optimism

Ty warned me that if I said "caffeine and optimism" again, I was going to give him an aneurysm, so I had to come up with an alternate title for this post.

I know I said yesterday that I was having trouble coming up with stuff to write about, but after reading an article in Entertainment Weekly that corresponded to a recent purchase I made and a delivery from David's Bridal, I have A LOT more to say!  Oh, and an energy shot.  That may have also helped ;)

 

First off, I am obsessed with Doctor Who.  My living room walls are covered in art specific to the show, my funny bridal shirt is going to have a Doctor Who theme, and I am willing to actually spend money on merchandise.  I recently purchased a set of Doctor Who socks, a mini figurine, and a shirt.  

I also recently received the new EW Doctor Who issue in the mail.  50th anniversary!!  Woo-hoo!  I am seriously so excited and am feeling kind of loser-ish because of my obsession.  But, honestly, whatever. 

So, I am not sure if this paragraph had a point...

Rambly....

Woo-hoo energy shot!

 

Second off, I got my wedding shoes in the mail today!  They are perfect!

Definitely am going to be buying another pair of wedges to practice walking in, because I will stumble down the aisle if I don't get used to walking in them. But they are gorgeous!  Totally me! 

 

So, I have an entire apartment to clean, an essay to write, and a couple recipes to take care of.  I am giving myself 3 days, including today, to finish it all up. Well, except for the essay, which is due tonight. 

I can do this, and I am going to rock it and enjoy life again.

I refuse to let my anxiety rule me and my life.

Right?

Right.

 

 

<3

A Few Things

I know, I have not been very good at this lately.

I have not updated anything!

Honestly, I have just been super overwhelmed and barely treading water with a lot of stuff. 

Things are moving along!  My wonderful MOH and almost-mom were addressing bridal shower invites this evening, we got my Dad #1 and Dad #2's tuxes, I got my tiara, I have picked out most of my jewelry, and it looks like the invites are going out this week!

 

The tiara:

 

I have been told that it looks better in person :)

Ooh, and I bought my shoes!  They should arrive any day now! I wanted white, glittery, wedge heels.  Unfortunately, I could not find any.  I ended up with silver, glittery, wedge heels.  Guess my rehearsal dinner dress has to be white now! 

The silly thing?  I am not overwhelmed with worry that Ty isn't the one or anything like that.  I just have this deep anxiety that once things go well, it is inevitable that they are going to go bad very quickly.  It keeps me up at night, sometimes. Imagining all of the terrible things that could happen...drives me a bit crazy.

But anyways...

We had a wonderful weekend and we got to spend some time with Ty's mom and then with my family.  It is really nice to not have any strife on either side!  Not only was spending time with my family awesome, my uncle looked at our car to make sure that we won't die driving it while it made a sound that sounded like a gateway to hell was opening inside of our front passenger tire. We won't die, or be sucked down to Hell, hopefully.  I love Ty, but he just isn't very handy when it comes to this stuff.  I hope he picks some stuff up from my uncle!

 

Whimzy is loving school and she is talking more and more each day. Singing more and more each day, too!  I am hoping she ends up with a better voice than me ;)  We planted flower seeds in some pots last week, but I am doubtful about their survival because of Whimzy's ideas of ponies playing in dirt lately.  Poor seeds. 

Also, I am a terrible mother.  There are at least a million egg hunts going on in my area and I do not have any concrete plans to take Whimzy to any of them. It might be fun, or it might be a bunch of baby hellions in below freezing weather in the middle of a field.  The rewards just aren't outweighing the risks for me... Maybe we will do our own hunt. 

 

Ah, well, that is life.  I will try to keep things updated more.

If I don't, please go ahead and call or contact me if you want to catch up!

 

<3



Yes. This Is IT.

Definitely.

This is how a healthy, wonderful relationship feels.

Every time I get used to the feeling, something happens to remind me of how wonderful it really is.

I have been having anxiety issues again.  Attacks and just a general feeling of being overwhelmed and afraid.  For absolutely no reason. 

I am trying to deal with it. 

Sometimes, it gets the better of me, though.

This morning, even though I kept him up late, Ty woke up for a bit to hold me and reassure me that everything is okay and that he loves me.

He let me lay on his heart and use it to calm down.

Then, he spent over an hour going over counseling homework for our wedding while Whimzy was at school.  It was wonderful.

We are on the same page for so many things and we want the same things out of life. 

And, I got to crawl back into bed with him this morning after I dropped Whimzy off at school.  It was blissful and I could not imagine a better feeling in the world.

Between him and Whimzy, I must be the luckiest person in the world.

This amazing man choses to love and be with me.

I am damaged and sometimes it shows, but he choses to help me heal and move forward.  And he choses to move forward with me.  He choses to take care of me when I need it and gives me strength when I don't know how I am going to handle myself.

 

 

I am going to marry him, and it is going to be the best decision I have ever made. 

I am going to hold on to him for the rest of my life and make sure he never regrets deciding to love me.

Alone Time

Let me preface this post with a disclaimer:

I love Whimzy.

I love being a mom.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

That being said, today was the first day that I got to stay at home and clean while Whimzy was at school.  Due to the various snow and sick days since last week, she has been home 1/3 of her school days and those other days I had stuff I had to take care of outside of the apartment while she was at school.

Omg.

It is so much easier to clean when she isn't underfoot! 

Granted, I am not moving quite as fast as I normally do because I am still getting over being sick, but wow!

So much quieter and relaxed.

It was a breeze to clean. 

No little person taking out a pile of toys just as I put one away, or getting crumbs all over the carpet right after I vacuumed, or spilling juice on the newly cleaned floor. 

It was amazing.

Now, she should be on her way home any minute now and I am sure that she will make up for lost time with a vengeance....

Slacking!

I know.  I haven't been writing very much.

This past week I have been sick and Whimzy has been sick.

Last week I was a bundle of anxiety attacks and depressing thoughts.

Well, today I have to join the real world again and get Whimzy off to school, clean the apartment, catch up on school stuff, and then head up to Milwaukee with one of my bridesmaids to buy her dress for the wedding!

 

As far as wedding planning has been going, not much has happened.

I am waffling on what I want the centerpieces to be.

I am being a pain and I need to get this taken care of ASAP so that I can start making them!

 

Also, I haven't even started the Thank You cards from Whimzy's birthday party.

Hopefully I can work on those on Sunday.  Along with starting to address envelopes for wedding invites.

 

I pretty much just want to sleep and ignore my growing to-do list until I don't feel like the mucus family is reproducing in my chest. 

Oh, well.

This is what being an adult is about. 

 

 

<3



A Challenge Just For Me

Everything I do has undercurrents of wanting to make other people happy.

Cooking and doing a recipe binder? Well, I am providing healthy, yummy food for my family.

Going back to school?  Trying to provide a better life for Whimzy and a happy life for me and Ty.

Granted, I love cooking and school, but the reasons that I am doing them are not completely selfish.

 

I decided to do something that has no impact on anybody besides me.

I took a reading challenge on GoodReads.com.

One of my bridesmaids decided to do it, so I decided to go ahead and do it, too.

My goal is super ambitious, 200 books in 1 year.  It equals out to a book every other day.

I don't think I am going to make it.  I am already 25 books behind schedule.

Still going to try, though.  And you know what? It feels amazing to do something that is just for me.

Instead of crawling back into bed with Ty when Whimzy goes to school, I will read.  Instead of playing games on Facebook, I will read.

I will keep a book in my purse at all times. 

 

I am going to do this, and I am going to enjoy doing it.

Finally, a challenge that is not going to stress me out.

Unlike the challenge of keeping up with laundry, dishes, and vacuuming....

Feeling A Bit Bi-Polar

Whimzy started school today.

She ran off after saying "bye" without a glance backwards.

I cried.

It was bittersweet watching her gain her independence and not need us.

I cried all of the way to the grocery store.

Then, a wonderful thing happened.  Ty and I were in and out of the store in less than a half hour.  We got to eat lunch and enjoy talking to each other.  We got to come home and relax in a quiet apartment.

 

I miss my Whimzy.  I am sad that she is growing up.

I wish she could still be my little baby.

But since she has to grow up, I am going to enjoy my extra Whimzy-free time and try to appreciate her more when she is home. 

 

 

And now we get to go pick her up and hopefully she runs up to us with a big hug and missed us :)

 

 

<3

Moments

Those important moments that make life worth it....

That moment when....

I get to teach my daughter how to cook in the pot that my Nana taught me how to cook in

 I completely forget what I was in the middle of doing because he kissed me.

I looked up and saw Whimzy pushing her baby doll around in its stroller and it is wearing a pair of Whimzy's flip-flops. 

I realized that my wedding dress is in Whimzy's favorite color.

I am completely capable of forgiveness, and I realized it in a single conversation.

I missed a party to stay home, and I don't regret it.

I realize that people have requested to be in classes with me so that they can work with me.

I am planning my wedding bouqet with my aunt.

I get a long hug from my uncle.

I still have a drawn elephant on my door because it reminds me of a good night.

I get to dive into a new book that I have been looking for for years.

It finally sunk in that I get not only my Ty, but two brothers and a sister out of my marriage.

 

 

Just wanted to share some of the positive moments I have experienced in my life lately

 

<3



A Recipe of My Very Own!!

I made a few recipes this past week, but none of them pretty or good enough to share.  I put their pictures up on my Facebook in my recipes folder if anybody still wants to check them out.

 

But, the one that I am really proud of at the minute is my homemade chicken nuggets!  I have made chicken nuggets before, using cut up chicken breasts and they were mediocre.  They just did not satisfy my craving for chicken nuggets because they just tasted like breaded chicken breasts. 

I had a pound of ground chicken that I bought for second phase of my diet, but I figured that I needed to do something productive on our snowy day, so I took it out and kinda' winged it. 

 

So, here they are!  (And it is going to have a recipe, my very own recipe!)

 

Look good?  Well they are!  I used a different breading for mine because of my strict diet, but Whimzy is loving hers with the regular panko breading!

 

Chicken Nuggets with Ground Chicken

1 lbs. ground chicken

3 eggs, beaten

2 cups panko bread crumbs

1 cup flour (I used whole wheat flour)

non-stick spray

Seasonings (I used sea salt, garlic, and pepper)

 

• Pre-heat oven to 375*.
• Spray baking sheet with non-stick spray.
• Coat bits of ground chicken in flour, then eggs, then the bread crumbs.
• (I ended up with about 16-20 nuggets)
• Place on baking sheet.
• Repeat until the pound of chicken is finished.
• Bake for 30 minutes.
• Flip the nuggets over.
• Bake another 15 minutes.

It is a bit tedious, and the chicken does tend to fall apart a bit, but totally worth it.  I ran the recipe through my nutrition tracker and it ended up with a "B" (not too shabby), and 227 calories per serving.  I figured the recipe made about 5 servings. 

Whimzy totally scarfed them down and they satisfied my craving for chicken nuggets! 

Hopefully I will be posting some more of my own recipes soon.  I am going to make salmon in a couple weeks, and we are trying cod this week.

I am also planning on making some bread and a few other recipes. 

 

If anybody tries these, leave a comment!  I want to know if the recipe works for anybody else.  Not exactly a pro at writing recipes.

 

<3

 

 



Tuxes, Men, and Feeling Like a Girl

We picked out the tuxes for the wedding this past weekend!  They are pretty epic, if I may say so myself.

Ty's is a super dark purple with a green (matches my dress!) shirt and bow-tie.

The groomsmen tuxes are a light grey with an emerald colored shirt and a lavender bow-tie!

 Ty and his tux!

The guys' tux!

The shirt and bow-tie!

 

When I picked out my dress, it took 3 trips to 2 different bridal stores, and each trip lasted at least an hour.  When we went for my bridesmaids' dresses, it took us 2 hours and a trip up to Milwaukee.  I tried on at least 20 different dresses and my ladies tried on at least 5 each.

When we picked out tuxes, we went to a single place, and it took us less than 45 minutes to pick out not only Ty's, but the guys' tuxes!  He tried on a single suit and it fit him almost perfectly.

What the heck? Why is that so unfair? I see a similar thing happening on the morning of the wedding while we spend 7 hours getting ready and the guys take a half hour.

 

In other news, I feel like such a girl right now.  All I want to do is curl up with a cheesy romance novel, comfy pants, and cry at soup commercials.  I have no idea where this sudden bout of estrogen is coming from, but it is making me less productive because I am getting emotional over everything.  Hoping it is gone soon, I don't have time for this! 

 

<3



A Nothing Day

I am taking a day off of my 7 to-do lists.  Other than dinner, I have nothing that HAS to get done today.  In fact, I am consciously not doing anything that requires me crossing something off of a  list. 

I am laying on the couch and watching TV all day.

Tonight, I am going to put on comfy pj's, and watch movies with Ty. 

I am not going to clean anything.

I am not going to make Whimzy wear matching clothes.

I am not going to worry about school.

I am not going to care that the kitchen needs a good wiping down.

I am not going to look at my calendar.

I am not going to order anything for the wedding or Whimzy's birthday.

I am not going to run errands.

I am not going to take the "Pin the Poop on the Elephant" game off of my door. 

I am not going to worry about what I could be doing.

I am not going to think of today as wasted. 

I am not going to do anything that requires brain power.

 

I am going to enjoy not worrying.

I am going to enjoy how comfortable my couch is.

I am going to enjoy the heck out of the steak that is waiting for our dinner.

I am going to fill my head with useless knowledge that only TV can provide.

 

And you know what? 

It feels amazing.

Tomorrow, I have a game plan.  Tomorrow, I will finish my to-do list.  Tomorrow, I will cook and clean.

But not today. 

 

<3



Questions and Preschool

Well, we started our couple's counseling today with our officiator.

He was really sweet and almost apologetic that the only workbook he could find was Christian.  We do not mind, I just have to find one of my Bibles for the questions that we need scriptures for.  We have a homework assignment!  I am actually excited about doing it.  Anything that brings Ty and I closer is okay with me.

 

Whimzy starts preschool the day after her birthday.  Already. She is going to be getting some speech therapy sessions while she is there, so hopefully she will be up to par in a few months.  I am excited and sad all at the same time.  Excited because we get to do all of the school stuff like buying supplies and getting her a first day of school outfit.  Not to mention that this means I get 3-4 hours a day, 4 days a week that I can get stuff done without worrying about Whimzy and Ty and I can have some time alone while the sun is still up.  Sad, because if she goes to preschool until kindergarten, then this is us saying that we aren't the only people in her life anymore.  Ty is upset because he is hardly going to see her during the week now, but we both understand how important this is going to be for her.  I can't wait to go school supply shopping for her and meet her teachers! 

 

I felt like the worst mom a little bit ago.  I had the worst headache and while I waited for it to subside, I basically threw a movie on tv, laid down with Whimzy, and fell asleep.  She stayed cuddling with me through the entire movie, so she wasn't getting into any trouble, but I felt fairly negligent.  My headache has diminished, though.  Thank God. 

 

 

<3

An Actual Wedding Post

My posts lately have been very me-oriented.  Recipes, feelings, etc...

Well, there has been a lot going on wedding-wise so I figured I would use the time between laundry loads to update everybody!

For me it is crunch time!  Things have to be done, and they need to be done soon.  For Ty, I do not think crunch time happens until May sometime.  That being said, we are both on completely different stress levels right now.  Sometimes it is nice to have him sit me down and tell me to relax and that we have plenty of time, other times it drives me crazy because I feel like we have so much to do and "relaxing" is not on one of my 7 to-do lists.  This is the same guy who finished Whimzy's nursery barely two weeks before she was born and it caused me a great deal of heartburn.

I know everything is going to be fine, though.  I love him and in this type of situation I can really see how we balance each other out. 

 

We have our first counseling meeting with our officiator this Thursday.  Apparently we have a workbook that we need to work through.  I cannot wait to see how this works out.  I can see it being hilarious.  We have to check with him to make sure that he is okay with a few ceremony details we have picked out.  He is Baptist, so I am not sure how outside of the box he is comfortable with.  I am hoping that he approves everything that we have picked out because we have some pretty awesome stuff planned.  (Spoilers! *hope somebody gets the Doctor Who reference!)

 

Like I implied, we have our passages for the wedding picked out, as well as who is going to read them, and hopefully the Unity ceremony that we are going to be doing.  The passages, as well as the Unity ceremony, are all a little outside of the normal trodden path for weddings, but we are hoping that most of this wedding is! 

 

My lovely stationary Goddess, Amanda P, is hard at work on the invites.  They are amazing and I am so lucky to have a friend who is so talented and so generous to do this for us!

 

We have made some minor changess in what we want for decorations and have decided to go with minimal decor because of the awesome view that the room has.  We spend the extra money on the venue so that we could cut down on other areas, so it makes sense. 

 

We have almost all of the songs picked out for the ceremony and the reception.  Still waiting on some discussions with my "fathers" for the father-daughter dances, but I am excited to hear what they come up with. 

 

I think we made a few decisions about when we are going to open presents and when we are leaving for the honeymoon, also. 

 

My honorary Mother of the Bride, my MOH, and another bridesmaid are all hard at work planning the shower and the Bachelorette party, details are going to be forthcoming. 

 

We finished our Target registry this past weekend and it was a ton of fun, probably the least stressful part of the whole wedding-planning process. 

 

As always, any concrete details are posted on our website!  So, check it out often to keep up to date on what is going on. 

 

Thanks everybody for reading this, and for caring what is going on in this crazy head and life of mine.  I really appreciate everybody's support and love during this time and I am especially thankful for any of Ty's family who reads this.  I cannot wait to become a Christensen!

 

Love you!

<3

Calm down!!!

I need to calm down.

Seriously, I need to take a deep breath and step back.

At the moment, I have my weekly/monthly to-do lists in my organization binder, a "Mommy-must" list on the fridge that has my projects, a list of appointments above the stove, my daily to-do lists in my planner, a school to-do list in my school notebook, and then a list of weekly goals tucked inside of my planner.

Let's count, shall we?

That is 1,2,3,4,5,6,7...count them...7...to-do lists.

Granted, some of them overlap a bit, but still...

Who in the hell needs 7 to-do lists?

I want everything to be perfect.

Now that I have motivation, I guess I am trying to make up for the lost years when I was a total loser.

I want my storage unit organized, I want all of my information organized, I want my apartment clean all of the time, I want to do fun, educational things with Whimzy, I want good grades, I want to expand my culinary horizons, I want to spend time with friends, I want to spend time with Ty, I want to plan my wedding, I want to read more, I want to keep up on laundry, I want to write a blog worth reading, I want to work-out, I want to never lose another document or picture because of my crappy computer, I want to spend time with my family, I want to go see my mom more, I want to call my dad more, and I WANT TO DOCUMENT IT ALL (which includes re-vamping my recipe-binder, taking pictures then printing them out and putting them in albums, and trying to save and organize all of Whimzy's little moments)!

 

See all of these things that I want to accomplish?  Most of them are ongoing battles that never end. 

I did not have any priorities before?

Well, now I have too many! 

The last two meals I ate, I was writing, scheduling, and making phone calls while I ate. 

And the worst part is that when I feel like I am not getting enough done, I flip out.  Or, if I feel like things are not going according to my plan, I have an anxiety attack.  Poor Ty.  He started our relationship with this unreliable, kind of crazy girl who loved to sleep til noon and spend all day drinking rum and watching pirate movies.  Now, he is with a more stable woman who can't seem to relax, but cooks him lots of food.  I am not sure if it is a good trade or not. 

I can do it all, I know I can.  But honestly I just feel like I am never going to be able to keep up with this vision of perfection I have in my head.  I feel guilty when I take time to cuddle with Ty in the morning.  I feel like there is so much more that I am just not doing that I should be doing, even more than my 7 to-do lists spell out.  I feel like even on my good days, I am failing. I feel like I should not feel overwhelmed.  So many people do so much more than I do and do it without acting like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders.  Why does it feel so hard?  Why do I feel like I need to make everything perfect?  Why can't I calm down, even just for a day? 

I am not really complaining.  I love my life.  I love that I have the chance to make up for my Lost Years (I think that is what I am going to start referring to the years of 2003-2011 as), but I obviously still need to take some major steps in coping and prioritizing.  Is that something else I need to add to my list of things I want? *sigh*

Well, I guess I can discuss this all with my therapist tomorrow and I really hope that I can maybe work through it, even if it takes a few sessions and some re-learning how to meditate.

 

Well, that is enough ranting for tonight, I have to go finish my to-do list...

 

<3

Pretzels and A Perfect Saturday

So, yesterday, I finally got around to making my homemade pretzels!

Here is the recipe that I used:

http://www.thecurvycarrot.com/2012/07/25/pretzel-rolls-with-beer-cheese-sauce-milwaukee-style/

 

And here is the picture!

 

They did not turn out quite as pretty as the blog I got the recipe from suggested, but from Ty's face, they were yummy.

 

 

He ate them all within two sittings.

Nutritionally, the pretzels got a B- and came in at 161 calorie a serving (the recipe makes 8 servings) and the beer-cheese sauce came in at a D and 150 calories a serving (I figured that you could get about 10 servings out of a cup and the recipe makes 2 cups!).  They did take me a couple of hours to make, but I think it was worth it based on Ty's reaction.  We also have a ton of the beer-cheese sauce leftover to use for other stuff.

 

The second recipe I made yesterday was Ty's pepperoni pizza rolls to try to phase out spending money every week on frozen pizza rolls.  This was our first try to make bite-size pizza snacks. 

This is the link to the recipe:

http://whataboutpie.blogspot.com/2010/10/pepperoni-rolls.html?m=1

 

And picture:

 

I just bought store bought marinara sauce to dip them in.  Ty liked them, but I am going to keep searching for different recipes until I find one that he absolutely loves.  Nutritionally, without the marinara sauce, these equaled out to a D+ and 276 calories a serving (Ty estimated that he will get about 12 servings from the recipe).  I also think that this recipe could be modified to add more healthy ingredients like mushrooms and veggies or even to change it to a philly cheese-steak roll with beef and sauteed green peppers with cheese.  Also, after making the pretzels, this was SUPER easy.  The only modification that I made was to use pre-made, pre-rolled pizza crust from Pillsbury instead of the rolls that the link suggests.  I don't have a rolling pin, so I had to think of something, and I think they turned out awesome. 

 

Yesterday felt amazing.  I got to sleep in, leisurely work on some school stuff, and then spend my afternoon cooking and my evening cuddling with my family and some alone time with Ty after Whimzy went to bed.  It was a perfect day. 

And today, I am grateful that I do not have to go outside in this crazy ice-rain thing that is going on outside and. 

 

I am going to be able to start eating some of my own recipes soon, so an increase of low-carb recipes is probably going to be hitting by next weekend :) 

 

<3

 

 



From Scratch

I am making pretzels and some pepperoni pizza rolls today.  The apartment is kinda' messy and I have a bunch of stuff left to do on my to-do list, but I figured I can do all of that tomorrow.  Today, I want to cook.  I did school stuff, so I am not being completely irresponsible and technically the stuff that I am cooking is working towards my goal of cutting out convenience foods from our diets. Rationalization is amazing.  ;)

 

But I digress...

So, the pretzel dough is rising for the first time right now.  It is completely from scratch.  I hardly ever have time or the concentration to make anything from complete scratch.  Usually, there is canned something or the dough came from Pillsbury.  With Whimzy running around, I just do not have the focus to be able to really work dough or stew my own tomatoes.  It is a long, long-term goal to be able to can my own veggies and fruits, but that is not happening right now so I rely on store bought canned goods.

I do not think that I have really worked with real, homemade dough since I was really young and helping Nana with Easter bread.  That was giant plastic totes full of dough and at least 50 loaves that I was responsible for carrying back and forth to the "rising room", which was really just Papa's bedroom that he was shoved out of for a few days while we made the bread.  I remember helping put it into the loaf pans, helping pour the nuts into it, and how amazing the house smelled.  It was my favorite part of Easter while we were still doing it. 

Today, it felt amazing, my hands all full of flour, smelling the yeast, and hoping that I did not screw it up.  I am still waiting for it to rise, and I am really hoping it does.  Even if I fail on this, the tactical pleasure and the memories that it brought back were worth the try, and I would definitely give it another try next weekend. 

It would seriously be awesome if I can pull this off, though.  And Ty is loving the smell of the dough that is wafting through the apartment. 

 

I look at my artistic friends, and how they express themselves through art and how art is an outlet for them.  I don't think I will ever be capable of drawing more than a stick figure and I will probably never be "crafty", but I have come to realize in these last few months that I have cooking.  It helps me relax, makes me feel accomplished, can help raise my self-esteem, and helps me work through some of my emotions and realize goals. 

Plus, I love the look on Ty's face when I make something amazing :)

 

I am going to have to work the passion that I feel for cooking and food into a more healthy perspective on food and try to keep it all in balance, but I know I can do it, and I am proud of myself for finding something that I love to do and that I can do.  

One Thing DONE!

Our registry is DONE!  I mean, we can still add stuff online if we want, but the in-store stuff is completely DONE!  Super excited to have one thing down for the wedding. 

I know it is a tiny thing, but being able to check something off of our checklist feels amazing and really took a weight off of my shoulders.

 

Other than that, not much is going on.  We have a relaxing weekend planned working on some apartment stuff and hopefully getting some quiet time alone together after Whimzy goes to bed.

 

I also plan on making my own pretzels this weekend and some other recipes, pictures will be shared once I have more than one :) 

 

And check out the website for updated registry info!

 

<3



More Pinterest Stuff

I made a few recipes today, mostly for Ty because of this stupid diet.

He buys PowerBars like there is no tomorrow and spends probably $10-$15 a week on them. 

So, I tried making homemade ones for him.

This is the link that I got the recipe from:

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/dr-oz-no-bake-energy-bars

 

And here is the picture:

 

Ty likes them a lot.  He says that they are more filling than store-bought ones and they need a glass of milk to eat. I also doubled the recipe. I am probably going to make a batch a week and try experimenting with adding different things like chocolate chips, raisins, or maybe some other types of dried fruits.  The recipe ended up with a C- on my nutrition tracker with a total of 239 calories per bar.  With the recipe doubled, I got 10 bars out of it.  And, this recipe came out to under $3 for the entire batch. 

 

My second recipe was a way to spice up Ty's sandwiches a bit so he wouldn't get as bored and stray towards fast food or stopping at gas stations (gotta save up for the wedding!). 

Cheesy-Bacon Cornbread.

Here is the link:

http://simply-delicious.co.za/2011/03/09/bacon-mielie-corn-bread/

And picture:

 

Ty loved it!  It was super easy to make, but next time I think I will add more bacon and maybe throw some cheese in the bread instead of just on top.  I bought enough stuff for two batches, so I might make this again next week.  There is probably going to be a bunch more bread recipes coming up.  The bread ended up with a B- on my nutrition tracker and 300 calories per slice.  I only had mini-loaf pans, so each of the mini loaves got 6 good-sized slices and I estimated that the recipe makes about 12 slices. 

 

Still have some pretzels with beer-cheese sauce coming up this week along with some croque monsieurs.  There should have been a Pizza Roll type snack, but Ty ate all the pepperoni, so that may have to wait til' next week.  If any of them are picture/share worthy, I will definitely post.

 

Oh, btw, I made brownies last night with "hidden" vegetables.  They sucked.  Not worth sharing except to say that you could definitely at least smell the broccoli.  Ick. 

 

<3 

 



Another Reason Why I'm Marrying Him and Dresses!

My ladies picked out the dresses!  Well, the one dress.  Even though I was okay with, and even encouraged, my bridesmaids to have different dresses, they picked out the same dress.  It is a long, strapless dress with a little bit of a gather right at the hip.  It flatters all of my ladies, even with their widely different body types.  And the color I picked out is awesome!  I am so happy with it and how nice it is going to look next to my green dress :)

Also, I love my ladies.  We had a good time and they were all so supportive of each other and of me.  Only one did not go yesterday, and I am hoping for a one-on-one trip together or at least a hang-out session to talk about her dress. 

I am so freaking lucky to have such awesome people around me for my wedding! 

Oh, and Aunt Lori came up with us!  She was super, super helpful and we even got her to try on one dress.  I cannot wait to go shopping with her for her dress and we can pick out my mom's outfit.  I also have plans to go shopping with my future sister-in-law for her dress and we have to go look for Whiimzy's dress soon.  Things are picking up and we are getting so, so excited!

 

And another reason to marry Ty?  As if I don't have enough...

Well, last night I was super, super overwhelmed.  I just felt like there was no way I could ever get everything done, not only for the wedding but for everything in life in general.  So, today, after he woke up, he did dishes, started picking up the living room and did some laundry to help me feel a little more in control of what had to be done.  I now feel amazing and have a ton of motivation to get stuff done.  I am so thankful I have a guy who helps me out when I feel horrible.  I have no doubt in my mind about wanting to spend the rest of my life with him.  

Woohoo! Pictures!

 

Well, here is the picture of the Buffalo Ranch Chicken!  Apparently I need to upload them to Google+ to put them on here because my uploader won't work.  Silly. Well, there you go!  Yummy chicken :)

 

 

Insanity and Ty Food

This past Wednesday I spend at least 7 hours doing nothing but cleaning.  I scrubbed floors, organized, vacuumed, dusted, disinfected, and made 90% of my apartment spotless. 

By Thursday night, it looked like I had a circus in here.  There was popcorn everywhere, random toddler underwear strewn about, toys every 6 inches, and just general disarray. If you had walked into this household last night, you would have believed I hadn't cleaned since we moved in. 

So, why do I do the ridiculous repetitive chores?  I mean, I had to vacuum, tidy, and do a lot of that work again today and it will probably have to be done again tomorrow afternoon.  Ty doesn't really care unless it gets in the way of him doing stuff, and Whimzy loves having toys everywhere. 

It is for a few reasons:

A) It makes me feel better when the place is clean, even if I get frustrated, angry, and a bit psycho feeling after it gets trashed in less than 24 hours.

B) I remember how bad it can get from my less than perfect younger days.

C) Paranoia.  What would happen if a social service worker stopped by to ask for directions and my place didn't look fit for a healthy toddler?  I could lose Whimzy!! 

Granted, my place is nowhere near perfect 90% of the time, and my bedroom is only clean about 10% of the time, but keeping up on it is easier when I do a bit each day.  And that 10% of the time when Whimzy is in bed and Ty is at work and I can just sit and enjoy the clean almost makes the crazy worth it. 

 

So, this diet has me eating a very strict amount and type of food.  And since I measure part of my self-worth by the food that I have cooked, it was really bugging me.  My passion from life was missing.  So, I sat Ty down yesterday and had him pick out some recipes from my Pinterest board for snacks and meals that he would like me to make.  This would serve 2 purposes.  Hopefully, having homemade snacks and convenience food available at home would stop him from spending money at Kwik Trip and would be healthier.  It would also satisfy my need to cook and take care of him.  I am super excited about this week because I am stepping outside of my comfort zone and cooking things I wouldn't normally really consider.  I will even be making my own pretzels!  How exciting is that? 

 

Tonight was the first recipe.  Buffalo-Ranch Chicken.  Super easy, and something that Ty would absolutely love. 

 He loved it!  I got the recipe from Pinterest, who led me to this link:
 

http://reallyfrompinterest.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-02-03T11:52:00-08:00&max-results=1&start=11&by-date=false

The 3 lbs. will last Ty 2-3 meals and can be used after the initial meal as shredded chicken for sandwiches, diced chicken for salads, or just plain.  The sauce left over in the slow-cooker can be used for a bunch of different stuff including dips for those sandwiches, sauce for chips and pretzels, and toppings for anything else he wants to put it on. 
Side note: The 3 lbs. will last most people at least 4 meals, but Ty is a monster and eats 3 breasts at a time.  For 3 breasts, it came out to about 600 calories (which would be reduced with less chicken, obviously) and ended up with a B- on my nutrient tracker/calorie counter website.  I paired it with some chicken broccoli rice and salad. 

I will try to keep up on all of the new recipes that I am trying and post them on here :)

Ugh, and I am about to throw a fit because the picture uploader is not working!
Here is the link to my Facebook picture of the chicken:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152426626170366&set=a.10150808771980366.735638.786490365&type=3&theater